the silence of nighttime thoughts
is its own organism, like loneliness,
little cracks on your palms
and backs of your arms, reaching
with a winter feeling,
down into the heart.
|—||Jim Morrison (via thelittleyellowdiary)|
|—||David Levithan, The Lover’s Dictionary (via thelittleyellowdiary)|
It turns out procrastination is not typically a function of laziness, apathy or work ethic as it is often regarded to be. It’s a neurotic self-defense behavior that develops to protect a person’s sense of self-worth.
You see, procrastinators tend to be people who have, for whatever reason, developed to perceive an unusually strong association between their performance and their value as a person. This makes failure or criticism disproportionately painful, which leads naturally to hesitancy when it comes to the prospect of doing anything that reflects their ability — which is pretty much everything.
But in real life, you can’t avoid doing things. We have to earn a living, do our taxes, have difficult conversations sometimes. Human life requires confronting uncertainty and risk, so pressure mounts. Procrastination gives a person a temporary hit of relief from this pressure of “having to do” things, which is a self-rewarding behavior. So it continues and becomes the normal way to respond to these pressures.
Particularly prone to serious procrastination problems are children who grew up with unusually high expectations placed on them. Their older siblings may have been high achievers, leaving big shoes to fill, or their parents may have had neurotic and inhuman expectations of their own, or else they exhibited exceptional talents early on, and thereafter “average” performances were met with concern and suspicion from parents and teachers.
|—||Jamaica Kincaid, Lucy (via thelittleyellowdiary)|
|—||Alain de Botton (via thelittleyellowdiary)|
1. Make them their favorite food and surprise them with it when they come home.
2. Clean for them, especially things you know that they hate doing, like vacuuming or changing the sheets.
3. When it’s raining outside, bring them their favorite hot drink and cuddle with them under a blanket while…